Oh, I had big plans for today’s entry. HUGE PLANS. Said plans were legendary.
But. It’s not going to happen. I’ve got some other stuff I need to take care of and I just can’t be bothered to write, re-write, and proof read today.
So I leave you with Hear Muffs. I doubt I could come up with anything much better.
I don't even know where to begin.
So, this week I really love…me. Seriously. I’m so pleased with myself today, and it’s rare I’m this self-accepting so I’m going to run with it.
Thus far this week I’ve:
+ crossed off everything on my to-do list
+earned 100% on my macroeconomics homework – and it was turned in two days early!
+hooked up the new printer without any glitches
+made a kick ass dinner last night
+actually made some progress on the much-discussed (and much visualized) closet clean-out project
…and took care of a bunch of little things that just needed to be done. The best part? Today is only Wednesday. I’m on a roll.
Yep. At least I do this week.
Let me start with a disclaimer: I am anti-child choking. Of course I don’t want anything to happen to kids. Still, I think we tend to go a bit too far in the overprotection department in this country. Did you know there’s never been a single solitary reported case of a razor blade in a Halloween apple? Yet every Halloween (you know, around 3:30 p.m. the day the kids are allowed their 20 minutes of Trick or Treating action) the media and watchdog groups behave as if every wrapped treat is full of napalm and barbed wire, just waiting to kill innocent kiddos. But I digress.
The latest outcry is to redesign hotdogs. You know, sausages made up of mostly scraps from the slaughterhouse floor. Oh, they want to improve the nutritional content of hotdogs, maybe remove the nitrates and other preservatives? No. They want to change the shape, because hot dogs are dangerous.
“Any food that has a cylindrical or round shape poses a risk,” said Dr. Gary Smith, immediate-past chairman of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ Committee on Injury, Violence and Poison Prevention. In addition to the redesign, the committee wants warning labels so those who are not so bright understand small children could choke while eating hotdogs.
A little internet research shows the actual odds an American child will choke to death on a hot dog are roughly 1 in 181,230. The odds are better that an American will die being struck by lightning and roughly the same that he will die from a pet dog or snake bite. I propose we begin legislation to defang all household pets immediately.
Still, maybe there is something to this killer hot dog business. Last September the KC Royals mascot Sluggerrr threw a hot dog into the stands at and hit a fan in the eye. He’s suing the team for $25,000.
Sure, hot dogs may look benign, but they're secret killers. If they're not choking babies, they're attacking sports fans.
I won the friendship lottery. Annette & Jenn are the two best friends in the world.
I’ve got a lot of down time lately, so the DVR is finally getting it’s due and old shows are getting some attention. Because my stress level is (thankfully) low, I have time to contemplate the important things.
I’ve just discovered the actor who plays Shane on Weeds is the secret white twin of Hung from Top Chef.
Shane.
Hung.
To be honest, I’ve been here before. The internet highway is littered with the carcasses of my abandoned blogs. Some have been about weight loss, others about my secret angsts. Few have garnered any attention, and none have earned my commitment.
So why start again?
I dunno, maybe I feel special this time? Maybe it’s the idea of actually using my own name, my own personality. I don’t have a BIG THEME to discuss, or laundry to air. I’m not going to talk about my job, or my sweetheart (unless it’s funny and kind). Sure, I’ll complain, but not about anyone who could read this now or in ten years and be hurt or offended by it
So yeah, you can get in now, while the getting is good. You can watch a life unfold on the digital frontier. The best part of going back to school was always getting shiny new school supplies. I love fresh notebooks and smooth paper. On my first visit to France I spent all of my souvenir money on notebooks and graph paper and school agendas. On my last visit to France I had to physically remove myself from the basement of the Bon Marche before I spent $100 on notecards. The point is a blog is like a fresh notebook every day. I can’t stay away.
So why Bananalog Girl? Well, I wanted to be Analog Girl, but that wasn’t available. So I made an adjustment. It’s kind of catchy, don’t you think?
Little Ms. Polymath 