Little Ms. Polymath

aka the know-it-all

sunday. January 30, 2011

I was up super early this morning to do our laundry, clean the bathroom and get my finances in order. Are you salivating yet? I even picked out all of my outfits for the week! Last week was a whirlwind — I was out of town for training for three days, and while I actually enjoyed it, it did cramp my style quite a bit. And I missed Jason’s birthday. I feel terrible about it. But maybe not so bad about missing the family dinner, which apparently served up the usual drama.

Last year if you’d asked me about going on a cruise I would have said they are germ-ridden death traps. But now that I’m learning about cruises and staring at photos and/or video of tropical locales all day long, I really want to escape. It doesn’t help that I’m drawn to the luxury cruises (would you expect anything else?) and checking out staterooms that are bigger than our apartment. Yes, I do need 24-hour room service and a butler on-call. Yes, yes yes!

Like most of you, I’m worn down from the cold and the bleak landscape and long for some sunshine, and the cruise porn doesn’t help much. But I’m adjusting to the 40-hour week much better than I thought I would. There are a few areas I’m behind on — I’m still writing and have clients who probably want some results, but I know I’ll get that situation righted this week. Thanks for your patience (especially you, Jenn!)

I’m looking forward to an afternoon of 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation. I think we’re getting pho today. Simple pleasures, people.

PS – GO STEELERS!!!!!

Why don't they make ads like this anymore?

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sugar daddy. March 11, 2010

Filed under: opportunity to be punny,unemployment diary — mspolymath @ 9:37 am

Well, the moment we’ve all been waiting for is finally here! The annual Forbes magazine richest people list is on newsstands. And this year, instead of boring old Bill Gates wearing the richest man crown, it’s a new, mysterious (and hello ladies – AVAILABLE) billionaire for us to, I don’t know, feel alienated by.

Truthfully, I’m only writing this post because this year’s winner(?) has the best name – Carlos Slim. He’s a self-made telecom mogul from Mexico. Get this – his net worth increased $18.5 billion in the last year. He’s 70 years young and a widower with six children. Oh, and he gave away $65 million last year.

So, uh, I’m feeling punchy today so here comes the pun: maybe the old axiom should be “one can never be too rich or too slim!” Hahaha.
Yeah, sorry.

Hola! I am Carlos Slim, the richest man in the world!

 

stubble. January 21, 2010

Filed under: drama mama,life,opportunity to be punny — mspolymath @ 9:05 am

There’s been a lot of hubbub about Mo’Nique lately. People are blown away by her gritty performance as the abusive, pretty-much-evil mother in Precious. Then people were aghast because she wasn’t interested in trolling the press junkets and awards show circuit, pandering for praise. Sunday night Mo’Nique won the Best Supporting Actress Golden Globe for her work in Precious, and she started a new controversy. Are you ready for this? Mo’Nique doesn’t shave her legs.

The legs in question.

In an interview with Barbara Walters in 2006, Mo’Nique said, “I must show America what a real leg looks like . . . because it’s too much in the morning, every morning, to shave, to cut, you got Band-aids baby,” she said. “I really think hair on a woman’s legs is a black woman’s thing.”

Still, after she showed off her gams on the red carpet, people were aghast. Why is it that hairy legs are some sort of symbol of women’s hygiene? Why are we so attached to the smooth skin we had before puberty?

My personal experience with shaving my legs is bumpy. (Sorry.) I don’t have a lot of leg hair, it grows slowly, and it’s patchy. There are huge stretches on my legs where no hair grows at all. Some of the hair is white blonde, some of it is light brown, and inexplicably, some is inky black. My leg hair is as diverse as any UN committee, and probably accomplishes just as much. Still, I feel pretty gross when I go too long without shaving. Maybe if it were consistent in color or texture it wouldn’t feel so odd. Or maybe if I hadn’t grown up with the refrain of “who wears short shorts?” (ahem, certainly not moi) ringing in my ears, I wouldn’t feel it necessary to keep my legs shorn even though very few people ever see them.

So what is it about shaving our legs? Why do we do it? And to the women reading this, do you wince when you see a woman with hairy legs? Do you think she’s dirty or unkept or a radical feminist? Is it a political statement or a sign of laziness? Men, do you just prefer a smooth leg because it’s different from your own? Are we keeping a multi-million dollar industry in business due to some misplaced belief that we’re not attractive unless our legs are bare? Just curious.

 

cake. wrecked. November 3, 2009

Filed under: celebrate,opportunity to be punny — mspolymath @ 1:47 pm

Cake Wrecks is a fantastic website that chronicles hilarious moments in, well,  professional cakemaking.

Today’s edition simply takes the cake. Yeah, sorry.

willcallback

I *hope* I get a cake wreck someday.

 

Another personal favorite read “congratulations as small as possible”. If you ever need a good laugh, check out the site. Recent entries include Halloween and a truly disturbing collection of Twilight-themed cakes. The sad part is, no matter how stupid or bizarre the cakes are, after every visit to Cake Wrecks I still want cake.